straight from the muse’s mouth: an alternative artist’s way: Perseverance: Creating Against Opposing Force

Creating Against Opposing Force

Erin — Thu, 07 May 2026 12:01:16 GMT

Thank you for reading my posts on perseverance for artists and writers. I had a wonderful time researching, writing, and thinking about the circumstances we overcome, the odds we beat, and the worlds we create for ourselves to persevere as artists.

I said in the beginning that I could have covered almost anyone for this series. That is because all of us persevere in our own way, every day, through life, parenthood, career, our races and economic statuses, our pains, our fears, the love we choose for our life, and so many other parts of life. We are all worthy of the title of “Artist.” Make art? You’re an artist. You don’t have to work on your craft every single minute of every single day. You are not a failure if you work full time to support your art. You are not a failure if you have obstacles in the way that others do not.

Remember:

The vision is bigger than the obstacle.
The most important YES is the artist accepting the invitation to create.
Art transforms the artist even if/when it doesn’t captivate the audience or there are obstacles to getting it in front of an audience
Perseverance is a commitment to the spirit of the artist
There is always someone who loves what you are doing.
Your vision is bigger than an individual yes or no from outside forces.
You cannot control outside reception, trends, or the minds of those “in charge.” You can only control yourself, your environment, and how and why you choose to engage with and create your art.
It is best to focus on internal measures of success rather than external.

If you would like to support my work on the creative process, I’ve opened up optional paid subscriptions. You may also consider tipping via Kofi. Likes, comments, and shares tell the algorithm (ugh) that you like my work & find it valuable. Regardless of how you choose to support, thank you for being here !!!

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Part one here - Intro.

Part two here - Bryan Fuller.

Part three here - Raye

Part four here - Frida Kahlo

A RIBBON AROUND A BOMB: FRIDA KAHLO

Erin — Wed, 06 May 2026 12:03:13 GMT

Part one here.

Part two here.

Part three here.

***

Hilary Mantel. Halsey. Lady Gaga. Henri Matisse. Susanna Clarke. Vincent van Gogh. Frida Kahlo.

All of these incredible people have made an indelible, prolific, creative impact on the world and solidified legacies for themselves while living with and suffering from, and creating from, chronic illness.

Unless you’ve never visited a museum, or the internet, you probably know who Frida Kahlo is, at least tangentially. Frida’s* face is on totebags, pins, framed prints at Home Goods,... she has been reduced to a product, something you can own and display. But Frida was never something you could own. She was her own muse, an outsider who wouldn’t be considered traditionally beautiful by today’s standards, but who captivates us with her piercing stare, infinite creativity, and haunting portraits.

Before she would go on to become one of the most well-known artists of all time, parts of Frida’s life were tragic. She was ill with Polio as a child (something she has in common with Laurel Canyon crooner Joni Mitchell), which left one leg thinner, shorter, and weaker than the other. As a teenager, Frida was traveling by bus when an accident with a trolley caused a pole to go through her torso, uterus, and genitals. And as an adult, Frida married Diego Rivera, also an artist; their marriage was passionate, tortured, and intense and plagued with infidelity (Of their marriage, she said, “There have been two great accidents in my life. One was the train the other was Diego. Diego was by far the worst.”) Suffering from infertility (now believed to be caused by her accident, though how it wasn’t prior, I’ll never know), constant pain, emotional turmoil, and limited mobility, Kahlo had to accommodate herself if she wanted to keep painting and writing.

So she turned her bed into her art studio, and let herself be her own muse.

Although today there are protections in place for disabled people, we recognize that society is still imperfect, people go around those protections, and disabled folks are still not always equal to non-disabled folks. In Frida’s lifetime, most, if not all, of these protections were non-existent.

But Kahlo wasn’t “just” disabled. She was a feminist, an out bisexual, a fashionista, and political revolutionary. She communicated her self-expression through all different mediums from clothes to lovers, to writing and art.

She wasn’t “just” a wife. She refused to be content with playing secretary to a man when she could make her own work.

She wasn’t a victim of her circumstances, but she also didn’t pretend they didn’t exist.

Her work incorporated nature, spirituality, dreams, historical context, politics, Mexican Culture, and yes, the self. It was both informed by AND in spite of her womanhood, disability, and culture. Her self portraits convey pain, both psychological and emotional. But they also convey respect, reverence, magical realism, medical trauma, infertility, and her views of herself! She was radiant, wild, and painted flowers, antlers, anatomical hearts, and other adornments in her self portraits which extended beyond the physical.

Her work was the necessary self expression that allowed her to live beyond her circumstances and in her own personal imagination and understanding of herself and the world. It was survival. It was medicinal. It kept her going. And yet, she needed rest. She needed time to recover. Many days it was a miracle to be alive at all. Not every day was “productive” (even if you don’t suffer from chronic illness or other major ailments).

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Frida’s art was described as a “ribbon around a bomb” by Andre Breton, the founder of surrealism. But Frida rejected the label of surrealist, saying that she painted her reality rather than the abstract.

She said, “I am my own muse. I am the subject I know best.” Frida was not always well enough to leave her bed. But she was never barred from exploring the deep pockets of her inner universe, returning triumphant to share her findings.

Being an artist is a lifestyle, a drive to create. It is not about spending every waking moment creating to satisfy the beast of capitalism, but living intentionally and creating thoughtfully. Artists should be encouraged to show up when and how they can rather than churn out to burn out. Life is seasonal. Even a week can contain seasons.

Frida’s solution was to work from bed. You can do that if you want to, you make the rules. Writers are lucky in the sense that we require fairly little to make our art: our brains, pens, paper, a laptop, books or websites to research… your bed or couch, with a little help from a strategically propped pillow or furniture that’s more accommodating can, can become your desk. You can dictate into your phone or a recording device instead of writing with your hands, if that’s what you feel better doing. If you’re not feeling well but really want to create, do a lower stakes or more intuitive project. Draw mindmaps, map out scenes in bullet points, make use of writing craft exercises. Make sure that you are hydrated, rested, and have a little movement and fresh air based on your needs and abilities.

Thinking, outlining, researching, reading, and dipping into your TOOLKIT (what’s a creative process? linked below) can all help you feel creatively energized without overextending yourself.

As many of us know, what makes us different can make us vulnerable. People will sometimes remain committed to misunderstanding us. We have to continually advocate for ourselves, and accommodate ourselves. This can be frustrating, but it can also be rewarding to find new and innovative ways to scratch our creative itches in ways that serve us as unique individuals.

Frida’s work is not remembered because of her battles. It is remembered because it is inspiring, original, and combines psychology, mythology, and other pieces of the collective unconscious that connect humanity.

Remember:

Recognize the accommodations you need to do your work. Do not try to force yourself to fit into a box that doesn’t work for you.
Don’t limit yourself and your potential to protect yourself from disappointment down the line. You deserve to live a full life regardless of your circumstances.
Be your own muse. Don’t know what to paint? Look in the mirror. Don’t know what to write? Look inside. Your heartbeat is a story all its own. Don’t be afraid to share your experiences through your unique lens.
Your experiences, your conditions, your circumstances, are not to be overlooked when making work that reflects your world and your point of view.
Find your creative fingerprint. Your voice, your motif, your style, and cultivate it, and make what only you can make.
Don’t let others’ definitions of your work usurp your own.
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Creating Against Opposing Force: Octavia Butler

Erin — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 12:15:24 GMT

Part one here - Intro.

Part two here - Bryan Fuller.

Part three here - Raye

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Octavia E. Butler decided early on in life that nothing was going to keep her from her goal of being a successful writer. Born to the daughter of a slave (her mother was partially raised on a plantation), Octavia Butler was a Black woman who had to overcome racism, sexism, and poverty in order to get her work out there. If not for her radical belief in herself (she was, as we say today, “delulu” aka delusional), we would not know her name today.

Butler was writing in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. A tall, skinny, awkward Black Woman, one whom people had a hard time “figuring out,” or “pinning down” sexuality-wise, she struggled to be seen as the intelligent and curious woman that she was. But when she was writing, she was confident, alive, and fierce. Butler wrote Science Fiction (and was the first Black woman to do so consistently), dominated on the reader and writer side by white men, and she was not considered worth supporting with a big budget by her publisher, who would go on to make a lot of money off her name. Although she wrote steadily throughout her life, she did not always bring in enough money to survive off writing alone, leading her to work physically demanding, tedious jobs to support herself. She had no reason to believe her work would be beloved and famous. But her heart KNEW. Writing was Octavia E. Butler’s calling. Therefore, she remained fiercely dedicated even through the hard times, writing daily.

In Positive Obsession: The Life and Times of Octavia E. Butler, which I devoured with great interest, Susana M. Morris wrote:

Octavia’s dedication to her craft persisted amid…financial strain, ...personal disappointment, and hard times. She wrote almost every day—even when she was tired, hungry, or broke. Even when magazines and publishers dismissed her, jerked her around, and underpaid her, she kept at her work.

If I had to boil down Butler’s ideology around her work I would say: success as a writer is a tightrope of a) dynamite work ethic and b) radical self belief -- and that your wildest dreams have already come true -- beyond what most people would consider sane. She called writing a “positive obsession,” and it was. This ethos became her compass as she went through both prosperous and difficult periods of life. Because she was able to keep working when times got rough, she was able to enjoy the fruits of her labor when things swung back the other way. It wasn’t about bootstraps or toxic positivity - it was about survival and joy.

Octavia E. Butler journaled extensively in addition to her fiction and short stories (which back then, you could sell, lots!) In her notebooks, which you’ve surely seen photos of online, she encouraged herself, using affirmations and scripting to solidify her faith in herself. One of her scripts read:

I shall be a bestselling writer. After Imago, each of my books will be on the bestseller lists of LAT, NYT, PW, WP, etc. My novels will go onto the above lists whether publishers push them hard or not, whether I’m paid a high advance or not, whether I ever win another award or not.

This is my life. I write bestselling novels. My novels go onto the bestseller lists on or shortly after publication. My novels each travel up to the top of the bestseller lists and they reach the top and they stay on top for months . Each of my novels does this.

So be it! I will find the way to do this. See to it! So be it! See to it!

My books will be read by millions of people!

I will buy a beautiful home in an excellent neighborhood

I will send poor black youngsters to Clarion or other writer’s workshops

I will help poor black youngsters broaden their horizons

I will help poor black youngsters go to college

I will get the best of health care for my mother and myself

I will hire a car whenever I want or need to.

I will travel whenever and wherever in the world that I choose

My books will be read by millions of people!

So be it! See to it!

Octavia Butler knew that you have to be delusional, on purpose, to have a chance of making it in the writing and art world and that manifestation is not stating a desire and it just happens like magic.

Manifestation is stating a desire, planning on how to achieve it, and then executing your plan, even when it feels like it will never come true, all the while believing in yourself wholeheartedly. It’s like goal setting on drugs.

Not only did Butler pave the way for other Black women writers in her field, she also modeled Black womanhood for younger Black girls who found her work and saw themselves reflected not as servants, slaves, or subservient beings, but as powerful individuals with great destinies. Morris wrote, “Even in her darkest tales, she almost always ensured that joy was present and by doing so emphasized that Black women deserved pleasure, happiness, and respect.”

As you can see, Butler did not only have a positive obsession, but positive intentions. She felt a responsibility to help others with the fruits of her labor, especially people who needed a leg up in the world. The systems of racism and sexism were not easy to bear but she channeled them into her work and her missions in life. Because she had grown up as someone who was almost invisible, blatantly disregarded, she had a unique point of view that came forth as prescience about the future - not just her own but the future of politics and society. This third eye sealed her legacy.

Remember:

You have a unique point of view at the crossroads of all the things that make you yourself.
Even if you don’t believe in woo-woo concepts like manifestation, it doesn’t hurt to practice self-love and self-belief.
Working on your craft is the way forward in good times and bad.
Find your positive obsession and let it light up the rest of your life.
You have a chance (dare i say an obligation!) to make the art your inner child/younger self would be proud of.

Creating Against Opposing Force: RAYE

Erin — Mon, 27 Apr 2026 12:25:55 GMT

Part one here.

Part two here.

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A few years ago, a band of thieves stole Raye’s car, and with it, the singer-songwriter’s songbooks. This must have been a devastating moment in a series of traumatic dominoes. It wasn’t just that her songs got stolen. It was that after fighting for her life to get out of a predatory recording contract, finally ready to go independent and show the world what she could do, all of her efforts disappeared with the car, because the songs were not - gasp - backed up to the cloud. After struggling to prove herself for a decade, she had to start over… again.

The recording industry functions like the now defunct Old Hollywood Model. If you’re unfamiliar, here’s a quick overview: what we think of as the Golden Age of Hollywood wasn’t so golden for its stars. Many of the most well-recognized actors were “owned” by a single studio, often for seven years. The studio dictated what movies they’d perform in, and how big their roles were (they didn’t audition for roles they were interested in, with any studio who was producing a project). Their behavior, style, projects and pay (usually an allowance) were all under control of the studio: if your studio was mad at you, good luck. You weren’t just blacklisted, you were put in the fridge. You were not contractually free to just take another role with another studio. It was oppressive and demanding (not to mention the uppers, downers, and other pills they were fed in order to keep them docile and thin, nor that the possibility of sexual assault and misconduct was more of a probability).

It was for this exact reason (the studio model) Marilyn Monroe started her own production company once she was able to leave 20th Century Fox, who had her on a leash from the second she signed her first contract with them. She wanted to have independence and control over the films she starred in and championed, as well as her image.

That’s how the music industry still operates. An artist signs a contract for a certain number of albums, but there are many factors that determine when and how and why those albums are released. The record label must be happy with the lyrics, the sound, and the accompanying images of the album, or the “package.”

Executive David Geffen famously sued Neil Young for delivering music that was “uncharacteristic” of his previous work, which Geffen felt would alienate and turn off the fans.

If they are not happy with the music, and especially unhappy with the way it is performing, they will delay, cancel, or “shelve” albums. The way they see it is, they are fronting a lot of money, and if they are not confident an album will succeed, then they will hold it back until they feel it is ready. This is why your favorite artists all have a tale to tell about an album that never came out, or a creative direction that swerved and dove off a cliff. That is not to say that artists always play nice. They don’t. Lana del Rey constantly interrupts her own album rollouts, makes promises she doesn’t keep (covers albums, albums full of previously unreleased music, southern gothic albums that change genre as they develop). Lady Gaga had a whole different fifth record conceptualized and partially recorded before she dropped it and made Joanne instead. Carly Rae Jepsen has joked (?) that an unreleased album called Disco Sweat is buried in her backyard. But who can blame an artist for wanting to execute their vision and be proud of the product they’re shilling?

One aspect of the tug-of-war between the artists and the labels is creative control. Labels want a “sure thing,” and if they worry the artist is not going to provide that, they will puppeteer a team of writers, producers, engineers, etc that they believe can.

This was one of the biggest hurdles Taylor Swift faced with Big Machine. They were afraid that by changing genres from country to pop, she would alienate her original fanbase. She felt that she would not only retain most of her original fans, but gain new ones. That was too much of a risk (the risk being that by trying to gain new fans, she’d not only lose the old ones, but fail at her goal, and walk away with no fans, aka no one to buy the music she was making, and they were paying for).

Back to Raye.

Raye was having tremendous success as a featured artist (that is, featuring on other artists’ songs) and a songwriter for other artists. It was too risky to allow her to release the music she had made for herself as a solo artist: what if she could not convert the fans of her written and featured songs to Raye fans? What if they did not connect with her solo music? The MO of record labels is to keep and make as much money as possible. It was safer to have her stay on the same path and keep making the money she was bringing in, than risk putting out solo music and having to recapture the audience.

Raye was downtrodden and frustrated, arguing that she was “writing 200 songs a year” and only able to release a few singles a year. Behind the scenes she begged her label to let her release the album they had held back, to no avail. So, she took her frustrations, as other artists had before her, to interviews and public appearances. This did not go over well. Her label asked her to stop giving interviews. She refused.

In a shocking, unordinary turn of events, they let her leave.

Raye went on to become an independent artist, releasing her genre-spanning album My Twenty-first Century Blues, the culmination of many years of hard work. The fantastic song Oscar Winning Tears went viral on tiktok, she had a one-day stint as a special opener for the Eras Tour, and she was off to the races.

She was hard at work on her second album when the songbooks were stolen from her car. After years of struggle and defeat, it likely felt like the final blow. But rather than give up, she kept writing and came up with a new body of work. If anyone could do it, it’s a person who can write 200 songs a year.

In the end, the stolen car was recovered, and the songbooks were intact. (I am unclear if any of the stolen songs made it onto the new record.)

Raye released This Music May Contain Hope… in March of 2026 to critical and chart acclaim. It is jazzy, improvisational, cinematic, unrestrained, and yes, hopeful. By breaking free of her label, she was able to make the music she envisioned, and reach new heights in her career. Polydor sent flowers.

Creating Against Opposing Force: Bryan Fuller

Erin — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 12:34:52 GMT

Part one here.

Pushing Daisies is my ultimate “I wish I wrote that.” The cult classic TV show had its life cut short when it was prematurely cancelled in part due to the writer’s strike and in part due to ratings. I believe it was ahead of its time, and that the premise the show was based on is incredibly interesting:

Main character Ned can bring the dead back to life with a single touch, but once he does, he has only a few minutes to zap you back dead before someone or something else dies in your place. What happens when he meets someone he doesn’t want to zap back? What happens when he can’t touch her, because if he does, she’ll die again? What if he loves her?

Oh, it’s darling. Equal parts brooding and bushytailed… Anyway, I digress. Pushing Daisies was actually the third show Fuller got on the air. First came Dead Like Me, a grim reaper comedy, which got 2 seasons and a movie. Then came Wonderfalls, a story about magical objects and the girl who can talk to them, which only got a few episodes before being yanked. After, came the popular and acclaimed Hannibal series, American Gods, and a failed Muensters reboot.

Fuller is doing something right, right? For all the projects that have been killed, he’s also had some great success as a writer, director, and producer. But those first years were dark and brutal, I’m sure. All the hard work of writing, pitching, grunt work, then a breakthrough, and multiple YESes turned into no’s at midnight.

Take the case of Dead Like Me, the reaper comedy: Fuller intended for the Father character to be gay; executives disagreed. They disagreed on the choice of actors for the main characters. Their visions didn’t align for the story. Fuller, a gay man, someone who existed on the fringes of society in a way, was simply interested in imparting his unique vision and vantage point onto his work. It was the same vision and vantage point Showtime had hired him for. He was a writer, and them wanting to change his story meant stepping back and becoming a co-writer with people whose job was not to write, but to sell.

With his departure, the show slogged, the storylines didn’t affect audiences the way they were originally intended to, and it just couldn’t find its footing.

If you look up a brief synopsis of each of Bryan’s works, or you’ve seen any/all, you understand he has a preoccupation with trauma and death, a penchant for characters who are outsiders, a mix of the macabre with the cutesy, and signature camera angles and color palettes.

Pushing Daisies was a fantastic show, the praises of which I’ve sung above. Whether the show was cancelled due to low ratings, or the writer’s strike, or a combination of both, I can’t help but wonder why the ratings were so low. Take this: I am the exact audience for this show. I fit the demographic at the time. I was highly into similar aesthetics, the narration style, shows about mysteries (Ned and Co use his power to solve mysteries so he and a PI can split the money). I don’t recall hearing much about the show when it was on. (A similar thing happened to me recently: I am a devout Pretty Little Liars and Desperate Housewives fan… but had not heard of the Grosse Pointe Garden Society until it was cancelled. I was the TARGET!!! And they did not find me until it was too late.) I guess I fail to see how the networks can understand there is an audience, but chicken out about the material, and refuse to put adequate budget into marketing. In doing so, they don’t reach the right audience, and then they cancel, and lose their money. They proceed with way too much caution.

Thanks for reading straight from the muse’s mouth: an alternative artist’s way! This post is public so feel free to share it.

After Pushing Daisies, Fuller found his footing, working on Heroes, Star Trek, Hannibal, American Gods, and most recently a movie called Dust Bunny. Clearly, TV and Film sees merit in Fuller’s work. They like his big ideas (unique worlds, characters who are decidedly not the everyman, and a devastating vision) and his ability to show up and do the work to produce a product many people can only dream of creating. Yet too often they decide they must play it safe.

To be honest, as an artist, I am in awe of Fuller’s ability to keep going, keep working, keep trying despite the obstacles he faces in the industry to get his vision realized. It takes a special belief in oneself and one’s ideas, to push forward and not take door slams and criticisms as a sign you just aren’t good enough. It’s a practice artists work at each day — the practice of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Remember:

Someone else’s (“gatekeeper” or otherwise) confidence or lack of confidence in your vision is not a reflection of your work or you. It’s a reflection of themselves and how they view the world.
Continue to share ideas only you can share, and to work from your unique point of view in this world
It’s normal for your work to circle around the same questions and themes over and over. As you age, mature, and grow as a human and artist, it will be incredible to look back on your oeuvre and see the path you took to understand yourself and your life
Perseverance is the name of the game. Many yeses are due to right place, right time. Many nos are due to factors outside of your control, often unrelated to your talent or ability.
You are your first believer.

On Perseverance: Creating Against Opposing Force

Erin — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 16:38:40 GMT

Every album, book, movie, or other art project is the product of the word YES. Of course, the first “yes” (and the most important) is the artist accepting the invitation to create. But if you’ve lived in Artistland for more than about five minutes, you understand that there is another word, a terrifying, disappointing, even rage-inducing word, and that word is “No.” Believe it or not, our favorite, most legendary and beloved artists have all been told “no.”

To an artist, “No” is a dagger. The internal and external circumstances that create art from being created, shared, received, or known, are vast. So many of these obstacles have come between your favorite artists and their art. So how or why did they find it within themselves to persevere?

The only guarantee of if you will be successful with your work or not is that if you give up, you won’t be. You read that right: no one and nothing can guarantee your success, but giving up can dictate that you do not find it. This is why one of the hardest lessons us artists learn over and over is that it is better to focus on internal measures of success rather than external, that we must persevere through the heartbreak to feel a new hope each time, no matter how many times we have been crushed. (And as the receiver of as many “almosts” as “nos,” I can tell you that sometimes the almosts hurt more, because they feel like a yes before they become a no).

Note that I could have chosen almost any artist who has ever existed to write this piece. Everyone, even the most successful artist, has had their fair share of disappointments. But for now, I chose to write about TV & film creator, producer, and writer Bryan Fuller, singer-songwriter Raye, the prescient science fiction writer Octavia Butler, and multimedia artist Frida Kahlo.

Please feel free to share in the comments who you would have chosen to write about.

straight from the muse’s mouth: an alternative artist’s way: Perseverance: Creating Against Opposing Force

Creating Against Opposing Force

A RIBBON AROUND A BOMB: FRIDA KAHLO

Hilary Mantel. Halsey. Lady Gaga. Henri Matisse. Susanna Clarke. Vincent van Gogh. Frida Kahlo.

All of these incredible people have made an indelible, prolific, creative impact on the world and solidified legacies for themselves while living with and suffering from, and creating from, chronic illness.

So she turned her bed into her art studio, and let herself be her own muse.

Frida’s art was described as a “ribbon around a bomb” by Andre Breton, the founder of surrealism. But Frida rejected the label of surrealist, saying that she painted her reality rather than the abstract.

Frida’s work is not remembered because of her battles. It is remembered because it is inspiring, original, and combines psychology, mythology, and other pieces of the collective unconscious that connect humanity.

Remember:

Further reading:

Creating Against Opposing Force: Octavia Butler

Creating Against Opposing Force: RAYE

Creating Against Opposing Force: Bryan Fuller

On Perseverance: Creating Against Opposing Force