Coping/Working with the Inner Critic

One way I cope when the inner critic is extra critical

I have a brain that’s wired differently and an inner critic that can talk for days on end about the smallest perceived misstep. A lot of us writers can run into this: you are working so hard on your work in progress only to hit a wall. Instead of simply taking a break for a day, your inner critic revs its engine, saying things like,

“You’re not good enough. You’re just wasting your time. This writing is garbage. You call this a book? Wow, if I was a literary agent and I saw this book, I’d bring it to meetings with publishers just to laugh at it. Honestly, if this is your best effort, just throw in the towel. Go figure something else out to do with your life. Books are supposed to have characters, settings, scenes… your book has none of those things.* Let alone it also has no tension, or stakes and you call that a structure? No one but YOU would find the contents of these pages interesting. Years wasted, hours spent typing and writing and researching only to come up with some drivel not fit for a dead worm to read. Well, actually, that’s your talent. Only you could write something so terrible.”

I can really hurt my own feelings with this nonsense. I can make myself cry, contemplate my entire life, and for a moment, almost regret choosing this path. But then I remember all the reasons I choose it every day. And so I find a way to crawl out of the hole, take some deep breaths, maybe step away from the project for a few days, and make a plan for when I am ready to get back at it.

And one way I cope, besides long walks and long showers, is to write a journal entry to myself.

The right person will see its Merit and beauty. The right person will feel a deep connection and see all the ways in which we can go deeper.

This novel is incredibly timely, and sparkles so much. People are interested in pop music, lgbtq issues, culture, technology, the dangers of AI, the way men try to control women, and complicated female characters. The fact that novels, movies, and tv shows with adjacent plotlines are being greenlit says all I need to know. There is an audience out there, ready for my story and my style and voice.

The right agent will see the connection through the different themes that I explore in my various manuscripts and will want to work together long-term to build a body of work that is a thematic kaleidoscope.

Be honest within the work, showcase its raw yet polished beauty, they will fall in love with your voice and vision.

Just keep the focus on my log line.

Know that you have your own voice and it’s okay to sound like you and not like the authors you love

Just remember how this book has changed scope and changed who I am while writing it. Think about how many iterations this story has had and how i’ve carried it through the years through immense personal transformation. It has taken such a beautiful thrilling shape. I am so grateful to bring this story out into the world.

As you can see, this pep talk switches between “I” and “You.” That’s okay, it’s just my journal where I commune with a higher power.

If you’re struggling with the inner critic, you’re not alone.

Do you have any specific ways that you cope when this happens to you?

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*of course I have characters, settings, and scenes. But the inner critic is more focused on being cruel than being truthful.

PS - while rereading just now, I read the inner critic’s dialogue in Gabby Windey’s voice, and it was actually really helpful.